9 examples of clichés in a first message that prevented reactions

After writing a profile text, writing the first post is the second serious hurdle to overcome in order to connect with a woman through a dating site.

Because what do you write there now, in such a first message to a woman you have seen on a dating site and whom you would like to meet?

In this article, I give an example of a sentence in a first message 9 times, which you write very easily and without a doubt well-meaning, but which:

Don't add anything to your first post.

Above all, make your message boring, predictable, and cliché.

Give your first message the appearance that you could have sent exactly this message to 10 more women almost without modification.

In short, with these phrases, you don't distinguish yourself from other message writers. And besides, you unintentionally give the impression that you have not really made an effort for a nice message. What a woman translates as that you don't find her very worthwhile.

You will understand that this suddenly reduces the chance that a woman will respond to your first message.

That is why I will not only give you examples of what not to do in the first posts, but I will also show you what you can do with such a cliché sentence. So that it becomes usable.

1) Your profile really appeals to me.

This sentence does not add anything to a message because it goes without saying that her profile appeals to you. Because otherwise, you wouldn't have bothered to write her a message.

What you can do is be more specific. She may say something in her profile that appeals to you because you think the same or because it is something you have in common.

In this way, your message describes exactly what appealed to you in what she writes in her profile and why it appealed to you. And that's exactly what makes your message personal and addressed to her. Which will certainly increase the chance of a reaction.

2) You look nice / You have a nice photo / You have a nice profile

When you write something to that effect, a woman knows exactly what you mean. Namely that you find her nice, attractive, sexy, and beautiful. Incidentally, it is not even the biggest problem you find that. The biggest problem is that dozens of men have already said something to the same effect before you.

And that's why you too if there is a similar sentence in your first post, will be deposited directly on the heap of boring cliché men. And that was not the intention of your first message to her.

If you genuinely think she looks nice, tell them why. You may think she knows what is right for her. Because you've noticed that the necklace she's wearing in her profile picture matches her eyes beautifully.

In this way, you show a woman that you have looked at her with pleasure and an eye for detail. And appreciates the effort she puts in to look nice. And when you then say without ado what you think and why you show her the man in you. And women find that attractive without exception.

3) I have become very curious ...

This is another sentence in the category 'completely unnecessary'. Because this sentence also applies: if you were not curious about her, you would not have written her. So the fact that you are writing to a woman already tells her that you are curious about her.

But you can also do something with this. By explicitly telling her in your first message what makes you curious about her, after reading her profile. And that you would like to hear more about that from her.

4) I think it would be nice to meet you

Would you have messaged her if you'd rather not meet her?

As you ask this question, it probably becomes superfluous to say that this sentence is also an example of a sentence, which seriously reduces the chance of a response to your first message.

Phrases to this effect are often added to a message to appear nice. However, the first message you are going to send through dating on threesome websites is not intended to be liked.

The primary purpose of a first message is to get a woman to respond. So that you can start a short email exchange with her that leads to a real meeting.

5) How are you? / Have a nice weekend? / Did you have a nice day?

You ask these kinds of questions to a chat buddy or chat girlfriend that you have known for a long time. But you certainly don't ask these kinds of questions to someone you don't know at all.

Imagine the following. You are walking in the Albert Heijn and suddenly someone walks up to you and asks you if you are having a nice weekend. I think you will also initially wonder if you know them. If not, then you ask yourself what they want from you.

Whenever you write in a message, always ask yourself: If a stranger were to ask me, what would I think of it. If you think the question is even slightly strange, then this question certainly does not belong in a message that you are going to send to a woman on a dating site.

6) If you are also curious about me then I would like to hear more about you

Many a man is able to let women know in a single sentence that his profile is not being visited, that his mailbox remains empty, and that he does not actually have any contact with any woman on this dating site. And hopes that she will at least want contact.

And this is exactly such a sentence. This is definitely a sentence that should never appear in the first message from you. In fact. It should not even resemble this sentence in the slightest.

Because besides the fact that it becomes clearer with every word, how incredibly lonely you are, it also tells you how desperately you are looking for contact with a woman.

Even if you're the most desperate man on the planet and haven't spoken to a woman in years, never show it.

Because women always like those men best who are liked by other women too. They don't even need to see you with other women for that. Because they know almost immediately, just by observing your appearance for a moment. And when your image alone lacks self-confidence, it equates to a lack of masculinity. And so you are found to be unattractive.

Unfortunately, you also radiate how you think about yourself in the way you write your profile text and your messages. And this example sentence is one such sentence that a lack of self-confidence cannot convey more clearly.

Fortunately, a plus of writing messages is that you can think three times before sending a message. Always make optimal use of this fact.

7) If you would like to get to know each other,.

For this sentence, the same applies to sentence 6. Therefore, no sentence similar to this one should appear in your message.

Moreover, this sentence tells that you let get to know each other depend on her. And that you would, as it were, fully understand if she did not want to get to know you.

Doesn't that seem to you as: actually no dog is interested in me and I would be surprised if you are?

Such a sentence does not indicate that you could just be a very nice guy who is worth getting to know.

Does it surprise you that a woman after reading such a sentence is not more enthusiastic about responding to your message?

8) If my profile also appeals to you, I would like to see a message back

This sentence does not radiate any self-confidence either.

A man with a little confidence in himself assumes that his profile appeals to women. Because he did his best for that. And it contains information he finds interesting for a woman to know.

By writing a nice massage to a woman, he points out that she has noticed him among the many hundreds of other ladies who also ask for his attention.

But he chose her to get to know her better. And he expects her to respond.

It is exactly this story a woman wants to read between the lines and in the image of your message. And that will certainly not be the case when sentence 8 is part of your message.

9) Put your phone number in the first message

Many a man sometimes thinks it is a smart idea to immediately mention his phone number in a first message. It can't hurt in itself. But you put something in an email because you hope that a woman will respond. However, what a woman will hardly ever do is call or text you first.

You can actually write anything to a woman. As long as it relates to what you've seen and read in her date profile. In addition, a first message must also be short and concise and contain one fun and easy to answer the question. So that you make replying to your message as easy as possible for a woman.

However, you should be aware that she cannot answer the question with a simple: 'Yes, no, sometimes or maybe'. Because it becomes difficult to respond to an answer that consists of just a few words. Let alone ask questions in a fun way.

Another important thing about a first message is that it should stand out from all the other first messages a woman receives. By the way, standing out is relatively easy, simply by avoiding falling into clichés and using phrases that do not add anything to a message.

To help avoid that, remember as a rule of thumb: anything you think of in the blink of an eye to writing in a first post that doesn't directly relate to the profile you just read has probably been written before. And will therefore not deliver the striking, fun, and authentic first message that women look forward to. And most likely not a message that women respond to.

With these examples of first-post clichés that greatly diminish women's response to your posts, it should have at least become a bit easier to write posts that women do respond enthusiastically to.

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